Finito!, for the moment anyway.

Ah, at long last, I'm done with the first bunch of paintings for my secret art project. It remains to be seen whether this will be the only ones I do or if I'll create any more. I took photos of the work and have sent them off to be judged. Now I must wait to see what comes next. I've also sent out one of those "hope you're hearing me" wishes to the great and wise Divine to let it be whatever it's supposed to be. All I can do. I will be adding the work to my website regardless of the outcome. It's still my art. Still can sell the originals or prints if the project doesn't go any further.

I must say it's been tough working on this. Kinda' like driving blind. I was given some suggestions for subject/theme, then left to figure out what to do with it. I would like to be able to explain more, and then y'all would better understand, but it's still just an "idea" in the works and I'm not at liberty to talk about it. What I will tell you is that it involves my possibly being able to get prints into a large chain retail store. Would be pretty cool, huh? I think so. Thing is, there are a lot of hurdles to overcome for such a thing to happen. Right now, I only have a toe in the door. Baby toe at that. That's okay. I'm not expecting miracles. This is just making an attempt and, as I said, letting it be whatever it will be.

Moving on.

Other news in Carol's world is my friend/business partner, Paul, and I are relocating our Reiki business. Yee Ha! We've been in a downstairs/basement area of a building on Main St. since we started back in the late fall of last year. Between getting set up, holidays, etc. we haven't advertised much or done anything more than get the space ready, get some brochures and business cards printed and other minor things. We'd planned on getting more serious minded with the business of the business in this early part of this year. As things often go, we got a sudden, but not totally unexpected, shift in the plan.

The woman who operates a store in the upstairs, street level area of the building is closing shop. Long story there. Anyway, Paul and I are relocating the Reiki center into this upstairs space. The other store will be officially closed by tomorrow so we'll get keys and will be able to start the process of cleaning/painting the space by the weekend. We've got our paint colors picked, have been sketching out and discussing best use of the space for arrangement of everything, making plans, doing the thing. Provided the stars align as they should we will open on March 1st. I've got to tell ya' the truth, I'm excited about it.

There are no other such business in this town. We have before us an excellent opportunity to build something unique, viable, and beneficial for us as well as the community. While we do have immediate financial limitations, I believe Paul and I are creative and resourceful enough to work around it. We've got many options available to us to help us build this wellness center into something very nice, something to be proud of. We will be able to have a good sized space to provide merchandise for sale, things like salt lamps and incense - products which are suited to such a business. We will have space available to rent booth areas to other alternative healing practitioners such as massage therapists, acupuncturists, etc. We will have space to offer reiki, yoga, tai chi, etc. classes and a host of other similar things.

Yes, there is a definite opportunity here, and I've started putting the word out to people who may have a service/product, or who may know of someone who would be an asset to our business. There are lots of people here in this area who make everything from natural soaps to decorative household items which would be complementary to our center, but they have no where to practice or promote their service/product. It could be a win-win situation for us all. I have hundreds of thoughts and ideas swirling around in my head. I have to keep pulling myself back to reality, to not jump ahead of myself, to not get too anxious or excited ... but it's hard to turn the ol' brain off.

For some months I've seen something like this in my head. I've stood in that upstairs area talking to the lady who owns that shop and had visions of what it could be if it were "mine" to do a store in. Of course, so much is limited with that because I don't have hundreds or thousands of dollars to crank up a business with. But I kept "seeing" it every time I stepped foot in the door. I would go home and catch myself daydreaming of "what if". I even put it out to the Universe that if something like it were possible I would very much want it to happen. Well, I may not be getting it on the grand scale I dreamed of, but it's a start. It's a baby step for Paul and I to have something, be a part of something, that is near and dear to both our hearts. We have been given a wonderful opportunity. A really wonderful opportunity. It's going to be a big change to my life, but a positive change.

In realizing this, I've also started to see things in other areas of my life changing as well. It's not even really noticeable to anyone else but me, but it's still happening none the less.

My art and my feelings toward my art are shifting. I'm finding, and trusting, that inner space of a stronger conviction of painting what I want to paint and saying to heck! with what anyone else thinks, says or feels. I've struggled with this for a very long time. I've done many paintings not because I wanted to but because I felt a push from some outside source to paint them. I won't explain all the deep, dark personal reasons I've allowed myself to be pushed. I know the what and the why and that's all that's really important, that I see it, understand it, and finally, make an attempt to confront and overcome it. I feel I'm beginning to.

The art for the "project" was a big push in that direction, too. While I was given lots of room to create the work, it was still restricted to a certain theme, a definite niche' of a particular market. Now, the potential for profitability jumped up and bit me on the butt right off - I won't deny that fact for a minute. I almost immediately started thinking in somewhat cliche' imagery for creating the paintings. I was thinking in terms of standard commissioned art. But somewhere something clicked and I just couldn't do it. I ventured off on another road, an entirely different route to the same destination. I kept the theme but produced it in what would be considered a non-traditional style. I couldn't produce cookie cutter stuff. I just couldn't.

Unlike my usual commission process, I actually took the time to evaluate just exactly what I would do if the scenario were that it was a definite go on the project, not just a toe in the door thing. Would I suck it up and paint things I don't want to paint just for the money? Oh how that's a deeply complicated and tough question to face when you're trying to make a living as an artist. Do you sacrifice for money or do you hold to your desire to create what is in your heart and pray it pays off somewhere in the end?

Some artists have the luxury, however it is for them, to not have to deal with those kinds of questions. They have freedom to paint what they want ... and they make money doing so. Some artists have to spend their entire lives painting at someone else's whimsy just to make any money at all from their skills. Their own work is done quietly, maybe hangs on the wall of their studio, and it never sees the light of day outside of their own space. For many years, I've been more the latter of the two examples. Most of the money I've made from my skill as an artist has not been from the sale of my own personal creations. Instead, it's come from commissioned works. I've painted what other people wanted me to paint. And it's been hard. Very hard.

Over the last couple of years I've felt more and more resistance to it, too. In the beginning it was great - someone requested my work! Thrill! Then it slowly became more of a chore, a dreaded job in a dark, windowless cubicle. It helped develop my skills with the mediums and the subject matter, but it did nothing for my artist's heart & soul. I kept questioning why I didn't just go get a "real" job and paint as a hobby for all the enjoyment I got out of painting anymore. That dream I had when I moved back here to be a full-time artist, of earning my living as an artist, faded from a blazing neon light to a sputtering candle flame. It didn't go out, but it's illumination dimmed to almost nothing. Going down the hall into the studio was about as enjoyable as a getting a bikini wax.

After I was first contacted about the art project I caught myself mentally wrestling with ideas and a nagging pull of finding a way to do the work but not do it as I knew was expected. Honestly, something in me just snapped. I was sitting in the middle of my studio floor, surrounded by books and magazines I'd collected for reference materials and I said, "F&%# it." I decided to create work I wanted to create and let the chips fall where they may. Two of the paintings are done in the Art Nouveau style. And folks, that set off a really big spark of light.

I suddenly had pictures and ideas for paintings jumping around in my head like popcorn in a hot skillet. I couldn't fall asleep at night for thinking about them. I'll bet I painted a hundred pictures in my head over the course of a couple of days. I felt excitement about my art that I haven't in, well, years. I wanted to throw the art project to the wind and start making the pictures in my head. I wanted to shut myself away in my studio and hope that some nice person would come feed my cat and maybe slip some grub under the door to me, too. Nice, but not likely to happen.

Despite this burst of enthusiasm I still felt that push ... do the work for the project, put my wants and desires on the back burner until it's done. Be a professional. Go for the potential money the project could bring. Suck it up and do the work. Even if it's not a real commission, treat it like one. Do the work. It was frustrating. It was stressful. No matter that the work I was creating was still "my ideas, not theirs" it became a chore to complete. There were a few days near the end that it was so hard to walk down the hall into my studio and pick up my paintbrush. Some days I had to make myself do it. Some days I simply couldn't. I'd get up, get dressed, jump in the Jeep and drive into town just to hang out with my friend Paul. I was avoiding being in the house.

I'm still getting pushed from another source to do work I really don't care to do. Again, it's personal and I'm not going to elaborate. Suffice it to say, it's still a push. But I'm finding a stronger ability to resist it. I'm winning some of those guilty conscience arguments that zing though my head. I'm feeling better about that, too. I see me taking a chance to change a behavioral attitude/pattern I've succumbed to for far too long. It's scary, yet I realize it's very, very good.

I'm giving myself freedom in the one place that is truly, deeply important to me ... my art. I've looked at other artist's websites and I see them doing exactly what I want to do. No, not the style of art, but their ability to do work they want to do and get paid for it - and apparently paid well. I've seen some who have grown from almost nothing to damn near a household name within their genre of art, all in a relatively short amount of time. Admittedly, I have envied them and their success. I have wished it for myself. But what I realized is although I have wished it, I didn't even know who I really was as an artist. I had only a vague idea of what I really wanted to do. How could I get something if I didn't have a clue what I was asking for?

Therein comes another big change I've experienced recently. If I'm totally honest with myself, I do know what I want to create. I'm not sure of precisely how - this being simply technique and I'll have to practice a bit with that part - but I know the work. I've seen it it my head. I've spent the last couple of months envisioning it. Hell, I've spent years secretly, in the recesses of my artist's heart, dreaming of it. When I allowed for the possibility of doing it my mind reeled. I lost sleep over it. I felt that sputtering candle catch fire and burn brightly. And I feel good about it. I feel something promising in the air. I almost feel as if I can't do the work fast enough. I'm both happy and scared at the same time. I'm risking to go forward, but risking even more to stand still ... and I know this. For once, I'm no longer willing to risk standing still.

Somehow, it also feels like only the beginning, the tip of the iceberg. More changes are coming, and not just with my art. Changes will come when Paul and I open the doors to our new reiki space. I'm going to be meeting new people who will bring other changes to my life. I'm letting go of things that don't work for me anymore: physically, creatively, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. This feels like a momentous year ahead. I don't feel the old weight of things holding me down, holding me back as I have for most of my life. But most importantly, these changes all feel, on an intuitive level, only positive, as if I'm walking out of a dark room into sunlight.

And for me, that is probably the biggest change of all ... to not feel as if there is something mysterious and threatening lurking in the wings, waiting with baited breath, to pull the curtain just when I'm ready to sing my solo. It's rather unnerving, to tell you the truth. I keep glancing over my shoulder for my old dead-weight companion. I actually catch myself sitting up straighter when I realize it isn't there.

But, ya' know, I think that maybe for this evening I've rambled on enough and should probably go fix myself some dinner.

Namaste y'all ...

I'm glad it's the end of the week.

It's been a slightly crazy day, so I've decided to post something to make me feel better ...

Snow days are made for sleeping in ...

When I woke up this morning this is what was outside ...

This is my Jeep in the snow ...



When Creepy went to the back door for her morning
excursion outside (surveying her domain),
she took one look at the porch and decided to do this instead ...

Can't say I blame her. I wanted to curl up with her and do the snoozy thing, too. Instead, I went into the studio and started painting. I'm still contemplating a cat nap after lunch ...

Namaste y'all ...

Shoppers running amok ...

It's Wednesday. Middle of the week. Rah. What adds insult to injury is the impending storm that doth approach, sending hoards of milk and bread buyers to the grocery store to stock their pantries against hazards inflicted by the Weather God. And yes, I was among those crazed individuals, Being a Friday Domestic Goddess on Wednesday. It was a most unpleasant experience. Trust me.

What is it about the possibility of snow/freezing rain that makes people think I MUST HAVE MILK AND BREAD AT ALL COSTS!? It's as interesting a phenomenon as it is scary. They get in the store and wheel those buggies around like it's the last time they will ever be allowed to shop again. Add in babies crying on every other isle. Sweet little old gray haired ladies, their husbands in tow - and obviously deeply out of their natural element - holding up traffic as they peruse and inspect every item on every shelf on every isle. As long as they've been shopping for groceries you'd think they could do it blindfolded. Last but not least is the totally disgusted and hostile youths who have been sent to retrieve milk and bread by their mothers, who are stuck in an office somewhere and don't want to fight the after work hours doubly insane shopping hoards. Can't say I blame them. They are one of the reasons I was doing my own shopping at 10:00am this morning. The pre-Noon crazies are bad enough, the after-five crazies are simply dangerous and best avoided whenever humanly possible.

Well, it's all good now. I'm home. Got some housework done and mosied myself into the studio to paint. I'm here at the computer 'cause I'm waiting for paint to dry. I've felt the pull to work on the website all day but I have refrained. I need a short break even if I'm "this close". Maybe tomorrow.

I did get some great news in my e-mail today! I was invited to join Ravelry! I clapped my hands and squealed like a girl. I did. I felt special, as if the Knitting Goddess smiled upon me. Yeah, I get pleasure outta' simple things. I know.

Anyhoo, Ravelry is an online knitting & crocheting community, still in the beta stage. You don't just sign up like VeggieBoards (which I do belong to) and a host of other online communities. You have to submit a request and if all the stars align you get an invitation to join. Last week when I submitted my request I noticed there were over 6,700 knitting souls lined up waiting for an invite. I've seen other knitters post in their blog they are wanting to be in Ravelry, still waiting on an invite. Sheesh! I figured I'd be in my 50's by the time they got around to me. By then I might even have made my dream sweater. By then I might be a real knitter, not just a newbie with big dreams and a stash of lovely yarn.

I'm thinking they checked my blog, saw all that Indulgence yarn and had pity, maybe thought I was going to need the moral support of a world-wide knitting community. Maybe someone knew through some mystical cosmic force that I tried my Indulgence gauge swatch three times last night. With half a dozen books and printed instructions for doing gauge swatches strewn across the coffee table and still banging my head in frustration. Gah! The bain of existence in the knitting world - getting gauge. Though it be a mighty mountain to climb I shall triumph! I have to or I'll never be able to make my dream sweater. Must.Get.Gauge.

Just so those who don't know will know, gauge is how many stitches per inch on different needle sizes. My dream sweater calls for 16 stitches = 4" using size 9 needles.. The Indulgence yarn is rated at 15 stitches = 4" on size 10 needles. I've got to come up with the correct needle size to get the stitch count called for in the pattern or who knows what monstrous thing I'll end up with. Either a sweater to fit a gerbil or one to fit a horse. I'd would prefer one to fit me.

Another bit of good mail today came via UPS. I got both the male and the female Art. S. Buck artist's models! I had a long talk with my friend, art buddy and business partner, Paul, about how I've got a gazillion ideas for paintings in my head but don't have money/access to live models to photograph as reference. And all the paintings I'm thinking of have a figure posing in some way. While I may see it in my head, it's often hard to draw it out without reference to see how a leg might bend or the correct foreshortening on an arm. A model, used by artist's for centuries all over the world, is what you need. Someone to hold that pose you're thinking of so you can draw it accurately.

Okay, so these table-top models aren't as good as the real thing. That's a given. But they will help tremendously. I can even make clothes for them to wear for different costumes thus enabling me to see how the fabric drapes, how it wraps around a knee or elbow or whatever. That's also a problem with live models, even if I had one, I don't have/can't afford full sized costumes. For example, I have an idea for a Kwan Yin painting but there ain't no stinkin' way I can buy a real kimono for some woman to come and pose in it just so I can take some pictures. With the small model, I can whip up a kimono on the sewing machine out of a small piece of silk-like fabric and presto!

I will have to resort to other sources for hand positions because these small models have hands formed into only one position. They can't be changed or moved. That's okay. I have hands. I have friends, both male and female, who have hands. They can substitute. Either way, I'm thrilled with the small models and the drawing freedom I hope they will bring. It's difficult to have an idea in your head and sit for hours, if not days, looking through sites like Corbis or Inmagine for a photo that is reasonably close. I've done that. It sucks. And many times I've moved on to another painting idea because I came up bust on any reference material/figure. Again, hopefully that will change now that I have my two Art. S. Buck models. I'm going to have to think up some names for them.

So that's been my day. My evening will be spent working in the studio for awhile longer, scrounging around in the kitchen for some grub, then plopping my butt on the sofa to work on my gauge swatch. Maybe I'll work on the checkerboard scarf instead. I think it's feeling ignored and unloved. Can't have yarn lying around thinking it's unloved.

Namaste y'all ...

The end is nigh ...

No, I'm not talking about the end of the world, the end of whatever sport season it happens to be - I don't keep up with that, nor is it the end of this blog. I'm talking about the end of the website overhaul. Yes, kiddies, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. A small glimmer of hope that I may actually finish this gargantuan undertaking before I lose what little is left of my mind.

And it may not take me until the end of February either. I may meet my January deadline after all. Holy sheep dip.

I've spent the entire day, with the exception of a short break for food and beverages of the caffeinated, not alcoholic, variety - though I did consider it at one point - with my face in front of the computer, plugging away at the bazillion things required to Make.Website.Go. I was also interrupted by a couple of phone calls. I started at 9:00am and it's now, by the clock on the computer, 8:46pm. I am exhausted. I'm brain dead.

What did I accomplish in all those many hours of slaving away at the keyboard? Uploaded twenty one new pieces of art, zipped them through Photoshop for web display, and their individual thumbnail images for the gallery front pages. Okay, some are older works I've just never gotten around to putting on the site. I created twenty one new pages for the art to live. I put the copyright protected disclaimer on all fifty nine images now in the site. I created all the new comments and "why I painted this image" info blurbs on every page. On those twenty one image pages I also created their PayPal buy my art info stuff. I created ten new galleries. I got all of the thumbnail-to-image links created for nine of the galleries. And some more stuff I can't even remember right now. But you know will as soon as I publish this post.

Whew! On one hand it doesn't seem like much. On the other hand, it's freakin' a boat load of work. If any of you are familiar with building websites you'll know what I mean. If you aren't, then you won't. So much of the work is done bouncing between software. I use Photoshop to manipulate and prepare all the images, buttons, background, yadda, yadda, yadda. I use Yahoo Sitebuilder to actually create and host the site.

Yes, I do own Dreamweaver, but I don't know how to use it. I took graphics back when the very first Macintosh computers came out on the market. I learned all the old fashioned stuff like hand pasting prep boards, shooting it on a huge horizontal camera, developing negatives, burning plates, running a printing press. OLD school. So old school that graphic students today can't even conceive of a CompuGraphic typesetter where you had to load a special strip for particular typefaces and then you typed everything without even seeing what you were typing. You didn't know if you made a mistake until you ran the photoprint paper through the developer and THEN got to see what you typed. I'm a graphics dinosaur by some standards. Everything I know about modern graphics I've learned along the way, through various jobs I had in the industry or taught myself. Yeah, I learned Photoshop by using it and reading a manual - not in a classroom. Same with Illustrator, QuarkXpress, Freehand, PageMaker and several other graphics programs.

When it came time to build my first website, y'all, I admit I was clueless. Completely and utterly clueless. I researched via the internet different website hosts who gave me the option of an easy to understand and use with Photoshop capability. I also had to consider cost. Easy + Cheap. Yahoo fit the bill on all accounts. I also like being able to make all the changes sort of "in the basement" while the current version of the site is still live. When I'm done with the upgrade I can publish all at once and Ta!Da! No down time, no mixed-matched pages, just a brand new version. Yee ha. So while it may not be the "preferred" method of website building and all that jazz, it works for me. I'm good with that. Moving on.

Oh, yeah, today's accomplishments. I do ramble sometimes.

What I was originally leading up to is that aforementioned light at the end of my tunnel. Provided it's not actually an oncoming train I've mistaken for salvationary illumination, I can really see a manageable list of things to do to finish the redesign and get this puppy online and out there. I still have a couple of galleries I need to get art into (and all the accompanying stuff for them) but it's a damn sight better than being faced with the entire creation of fifteen new galleries and a dozen other new pages and all their stuff as I was when I started this whole shebang. When everything is on the site and basically "in it's place" I will then go through every page and create the links. This means, link this button to this image to this page to this image to this page to this image to this page to this button to this image ............... It will be the final step in the building process. Then, I'll go through and proof read every page for errors, etc. Then I'll get my husband to proof read everything.

The drum roll comes when, at long last, I click that little yellow "Publish" button. I know my hand will shake. I'll get all cold-chilled and hot-flash sweaty at the same time. I'll probably get lightheaded and dizzy. Nice little panic attack. Once you click that button the current version goes bye-bye and new version hits the net in all it's glory ... or all it's chaos.

There's a good side and a bad side to the click issue. Bad side = read previous paragraph. Good side = this is really the only way to check if the site functions as it should. Do links link to what they are supposed to? Do the images look okay and display properly. Did you just spend untold hours of your life for naught or for a glorious happy dance of joy? Oh, yeah, sure, Sitebuilder has a Preview In Browser option and I definitely use it. But, if the rest of the site is still unpublished you can't check a link to a page that technically isn't "on the net" yet. And I have a whole bunch-o stuff that ain't yet on the net.

I'm going to take a break from the computer tomorrow and spend most of the day in the studio. I'm still working on those two paintings for my art project and I need/want to get them finished. My two phone calls today were from a friend and from my sister, both of whom felt it necessary to inform me of impending inclement weather. I may decide to do my Friday Domestic Goddess duties tomorrow instead of Friday 'cause Friday may not be an option if it does the freezing rain thing on Thursday. Blah!

For now I'm going to sit on the couch, work on my yarn swatch and listen to a movie.

Namaste y'all.

Indulgence ...

Yes, I know. I'm not keeping up on the '08 List item #16 - Blog every day. Barely half way into the first month of the new year and I'm already slacking.

I've been busy.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Truth is, I've been neck deep in my attempt to accomplish List item #4 - Get website design done by end of January.

It was an ambitious idea. I was living in a dream of possibilities and having delusions of the glory of achievement. The Website Design Muse has since smacked me on the head; brought me to my senses; basically, made me painfully aware of my foolishness. We have agreed to shoot for middle to end of February. That is provided I don't have a meltdown of epic proportions and run screaming like a crazed banshee into the night.

It's possible.

But the Divine in all his/her infinite wisdom decided I should be rewarded for my tireless dedication to this whole website thing.

I got mail.

Not just any mail. It was a "got to sign and print here on the little yellow card" kind of mail. I got a box of yarn. Yes, at long last, I am now the blissful owner of 13 skeins of Prism Indulgence yarn in Fog! *cue chorus of angelic voices in background, "Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Haaaalllll-layyyy-looo-yaaaaaaah!"*

Here's what 13 skeins of Prism Indulgence looks like on my drafting table.

Here's what it looks like up close and personal.

Here's what it looks like all wound up in a nice little yarn cake,
ready to be cast on my knitting needles and swatched with love.

These photos don't do it justice. It's splendid. It's yummy. I think the Yarn Paradise shop clerk who called to let me know they were shipping it to me was fondling it while she talked to me on the phone. She said, "This yarn is fabulous!" I'm inclined to agree. Wholeheartedly. Dream sweater may never be taken off my body. I will have to take a shower to wash it. We, my sweater and I, will become fused together in Fabulous Yarny Bliss. *sigh*

But, for now, I am going to be good. I swear. I will not do anything more than make the swatch for gage. I will not attempt dream sweater until website is finished. Yarn has been snuggled into a nice, cozy bag and stashed in the studio closet, out of sight.

I swear.

Namaste y'all ...

Beauty is not just skin deep ...

I've got a list of blogs I read daily. Oh sure, I browse [via the internet] some of the news stuff. I check out the weather once in awhile. And even in moments of utter and complete boredom I flip through the celebrity section of my homepage and see what kind of stupid crap ol' Brittany is up to these days. Seems she's better at making headlines than the Presidential race. After all, what's more important, the shenanigans of Brittany Spears or the person who will be running the country? Really now.

Uh, I digress ...

While I was waiting for some paint to dry yesterday evening I plopped myself down at the computer and started surfing my blog reading list. What's the Yarn Harlot knitting today? Does Crazy Aunt Purl have new photos of Bob? Is Bad Hippie getting settled into her new house? Has Crystal over at Boobs, Injuries & Dr. Pepper got some crazy story today? What cute pictures will I see [and steal for my blog] at Cute Overload? You get the idea.

Every so often I prowl around and find a new blog to add to my reading list. Last night I found TangerGreen. Now, if you're not into Green Living, organic, etc. then this is not a blog you'll have much interest in checking out. Me, I have an interest. So I peruse said blog and discovered another baking soda to use instead of Arm & Hammer. Those bastards do animal testing [the Draize Test and I'm not even going to talk about that] - which I deem unequivocally, irrefutably, unacceptable. period. do not buy product.

But baking soda is good for so many things! Gah! It's a green living householders' staple item! Right up there with vinegar and lemon juice. Y'all, it's been rough being without my baking soda. Sad. Depressing. Not happy camper. And I was having trouble finding a replacement. I've spent much time searching the net, to no avail. It was fast becoming a tragic thing in my world. Well, Ta Da! TangerGreen pointed me to Bob's Red Mill. Ha-la-freakin'-loo-yah! I'm going to order the 25lb. bag. When it gets here I'm going to hold it, squeeze it and call it Herman. We'll have a party, with hats and maybe even ice cream.

Also from this blog I found this interesting site - Skin Deep - and yep, I then spent the next two hours checking out all the products I use. What an eye opener! Geez, Louise! Some of the stuff I've been using I thought was good stuff. Organic. No animal testing. NOT! Little did I realize some of it contains toxic crap. Ummm, well, crap. The rating system is 0-8, 0 being non-toxic and 8 you want to run in the other direction. My shampoo, my shampoo people, is a 4. A 4! A moderate hazard level. I make an 80 mile round trip to Asheville to GreenLife grocery to get it, then I pay $8.00 for it. I could have smacked somebody when I read that rating information.

The rest of my toiletries and cosmetics? Some good, some not. Some went straight into the trash can. Although, I'm highly tempted to carry it to a hazardous waste disposal place. Sheesh! So after I checked out the stuff I use I then spent another hour looking for replacement stuff. The problem is trying to locate products I can buy locally if possible. And preferably not at the evil Land of Wal-Mart, Thank.You.Very.Much. Pickin's are slim in these parts, but I did manage to find alternatives. Some I know I can get at the grocery store, some at the drugstore next to the grocery store, and some I'll still have to drive to Asheville to purchase.

Yes, I'm well aware I can get damn near everything I purchase, clothes to toilet paper to cat food to baking soda to bed sheets to art supplies, online. I'm not interested in paying the four million dollars in shipping costs. I'll get in the Jeep, drive to town, and be a Domestic Goddess on Fridays and do the majority of shopping the old fashioned way.

Okay. I'll survive the toxic wake-up call and stop using some of the stuff I'm using. I'll be happy with the alternatives. Unfortunately, I do still have an issue. Perfume. Y'all, I'm not excessively girly. I don't wear make-up but maybe once a month. I don't paint my nails often. I wear minimal jewelry. I don't wear dresses until I'm forced or suffer a bout of temporary insanity. But I love perfume. Every damn one of them I own ranked a 4, except two, my favorites, and they are both 7's. Flippin' 7's. Can you believe it?! I am crushed. Burst my bubble. Sniveling and whining. Rats! Double rats! Stinkin' quadruple rats! I've loved these two perfumes for years and years and years. I started wearing them way back when they each first arrived on the scene.

Woe is me.

There are no alternatives.

No, I haven't been able to toss them into the trash yet. I can't even look in the medicine cabinet.

Pathetic. I know.

Anywhoooo ....

Because it's too cute not to share and makes me feel better about everything .... (brought to you courtesy of Cute Overload)

Here, have a KleeneeeexaaaaaaGGH! [swipe swipe]

Fffffffft fffft! [swiping action]

I'm sure this will help your stuffhe schnoz.

[swiping paw grazing your nose] fffffffffttt!

Namaste y'all ...

In lieu of bloggage material ...

I had to go into town today, ending up flitting most of my day away with the totally pleasant pastime of visiting some friends. I've got great friends. So, now I've got studio time to make up. I'll leave you with this charming image ....

Pffffft.

Swiped from the Funny Cat Pix website.

Namaste y'all ...

This Magic Moment ...

It's been four weeks now. A whole month of singing the same lines of a song, over and over. And over. And over.

"... and theeeeeen it happeeeeened. It took me by surpriiiiiiise. I knew that you felt it tooooooo, by the look in your eyyyyyes. Sweeter than wiiiiiiiine. Softer than a summer's niiiiiiight. Everything I want I haaaaaave whenever I hold you tiiiiiight. This maaaagic momennnnnnnt ... "

This, in my world, is not unusual. Quite a normal kinda' thing for me, this getting a song stuck in my head for days. Typically, it doesn't last more than a week until something else takes it's place. A month, on the other hand, is extensive. Although, the record is the time I had the Looney Tunes theme song stuck in my noggin' for six months until I went to a friend's house (she had kids and a t.v.) one Saturday morning to watch cartoons, thus getting rid of the tune. That's the best way for me to rid the aforementioned noggin' of a stuck tune ... find a way to listen to the song and it vacates the brain. Noggin' then free to get a new tune fixation.

When one gets stuck for awhile, meaning more than a week, I start singing out loud at the oddest times or places, like the middle of the grocery store. Fortunately, I can most often refrain before I totally embarrass myself. Like the other evening when I was on the phone talking to my friend Kasey. We're chit-chatting along, then there was a short pause in the conversation. In those few brief seconds I almost burst into song, on the phone, in her ear. I had already taken the in-breath and opened my mouth, on the cusp of bustin' loose, when I caught myself. She already knows I'm weird so she probably wouldn't have cared. Might even have sung along with me. Good friends, ya' gotta' love 'em.

After lengthy song stuckages I begin to get a little irritated. I'm supposed to find the reason the song won't go away. I'm supposed to be "getting the point" of it. Obviously, I'm not always quick to comprehend in a reasonable time frame. Hence, four weeks of This Magic Moment. The Music Muse sometimes likes to play games, make me work for it. The realization I'm meant to deduce meaning from this particular song hit me yesterday evening while I was standing at the sink washing up the dinner dishes. A wet, soapy handed epiphany. Great. I just dropped the dishrag back in the water and said, "Okay Muse, what's your point?"

I waited.

The face of the love of my life came to mind. Brown hair, blue eyes, mustache, goatee, that slight little smile he'd get right before he'd kiss me. *sigh* What occurred to me was that I have been thinking of him a lot lately. Think blue eyes = sing song. To me, his face is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Well, all right. Now what? What is the connection? Though kissing him was indeed magical, I intuitively knew that wasn't the right reason for the stuck song.

Ponder. Ponder. Ponder. Yeah, sometimes I'm really S L O W.

This morning I realized it's the feeling of Being In Love. Like the experiencing that deep, emotional connection to someone. But also, it's more than that, more than being in love. It's that feeling of opening your heart to the whole range of love types. In Love love. Family love. Best friend love. There is the love you have for your pet cat or dog. There's even love of your job and love of your car kinds of love. Expressed in different ways and levels, but love none the less. While I certainly do still love the love of my life I understand, in this particular instance, the Music Muse is only using him as a metaphor.

So, I ponder some more.

Love = Beauty. Ah!

What, besides his face, do I find such beauty in? Answer, art. It evokes within me feelings like the experience of love. And what have I been so busy doing lately? Yep, art. More specifically, my favorite kind of art. Art Nouveau in the Alphonse Mucha style.

Alphonse Mucha, entitled "Lierre" (Ivy), 1901

The two paintings I've currently got going in the studio for the secret art project are in le style Mucha. For [about a month now] I have been looking at stacks of books with art nouveau images, studying the technique and design structure, the colors, the patterns, the compositions as a whole. They are simply amazing. They strike a deep cord in me which no other style of art does. They are a delicate blending of fine art and graphic design ... how could that not appeal to me! They are intricate, almost rigidly executed yet have a beautiful rhythm and movement. I could wallpaper my house with Mucha art. I love it. I could eat it. Wrap my arms around it and not let go. The song in my head, This Magic Moment, started right about the time I decided to do these two paintings.

Conclusion: at long last, I'm finally creating my own art images in the very style I have had nearly a lifelong love affair with. Also I'm creating them in my favorite medium, watercolor. What has taken me so long? What have I been afraid of? Why have I held back? Why now? I'm not going to analyze those questions. I'm simply going to accept the fact that this is a type of art I'm meant to do. This is the kind of art that makes my heart sing ...

"This Magic Moment"

This magic moment
So different and so new
Was like any other
Until I met you
And then it happened
It took me by surprise
I knew that you felt it too
I could see it by the look in your eyes

Sweeter than wine
Softer than a summer's night
Everything I want, I have
Whenever I hold you tight

This magic moment,
While your lips are close to mine,
Will last forever,
Forever, 'til the end of time

So why won't you dance with me?
Why won't you dance with me?

This magic moment
So different and so new
Was like any other
Until I met you

And then it happened
It took me by surprise
I knew that you felt it too
I could see it by the look in your eyes

Sweeter than wine
Softer than a summer's night
Everything I want, I have
Whenever I hold you tight

Namaste y'all ...

Yarn love.

I always stop and check the mailbox at the end of the driveway when I come home from my Friday Domestic Goddess duties. Usually, it's junk mail and/or bills. Today was an exception to that mailbox junk.

I got yarn.

Oooooh yeah! Ummm hmmm! This girl's got her happy dancin' shoes on. Couldn't stand waiting until I got 280 feet to the house to open the package. No siree. I ripped that bad boy open right there on the spot. Six lovely skeins of Prism BonBon ribbon yarn in Tumbleweed. This stuff is yummy, so soft and silky it's almost indecent. And yes, standing there at the mailbox I gathered all six skeins into my hands and stuck my face in them. Bliss, I tell ya'. Pure, unadulterated yarn bliss. You can't do that kind of thing in the store or the clerks get nervous.

I ordered this yarn from Yarn Paradise, plus eleven skeins of Prism Indulgence in Fog for my dream sweater!, back in September to satisfy my crankiness when the husband got his new car. I was against buying the car. Both yarns had to be special ordered and I've been patiently waiting for it to arrive. Sadly, I'm still waiting on the Indulgence.

Now, I'll confess I'm still not sure just what the heck I'm going to make with the BonBon. I'm thinking it might be something like this lovely ribbon tank top or this pattern for summer. Or at least something similar. I'm still very much a beginner when it comes to knitting. Whatever pattern I decide on will have to say Beginner Level somewhere on it or it will probably be more than I can handle. I want to enjoy knitting the yarn, not sitting in the corner banging my head against the wall in misery 'cause this yarn was, well, expensive and I'm not wanting to muck it up.

And now that it's finally here I'm definitely anxious to start knitting with it. Alas, I'm going to restrain myself until I finish the scarf & hat combo I've already started. Okay, I've started the scarf part. Correction, I've started it again for the eleventh time. It took me weeks to decide on the right stitch pattern for the yarn I'm using - Bernat Bamboo Chunky Yarn in Water. Amazingly soft yarn. Snuggle kind of yarn. Roll around in it naked kind of yarn. *sigh* But anyway, I finally decided on a knit 7 - purl 7 stitch for 14 rows, then purl 7 - knit 7 for 14 rows, repeat. It creates a sort of checkerboard pattern that I think is really nice, even with this chunky yarn.

For now, it's time to go do some Domestic Goddess housework duties, IE: vacuum, laundry, etc. Then I get to work in the studio until the husband gets home for the weekend.

On second thought, I might just have to go fondle my new yarn again before I do anything else .......

Namaste y'all ...

One click a day could save a life ...

Those who know me know I'm an animal lover. I feel incredible empathy for critters - way more than I do for humans. I can't even walk past a pet store without crying. I can't watch those Disney movies about lost animals trying to find their way home, etc. I can't stand the thought of animals being abused, neglected or mistreated. It breaks my heart.

I just came across this link posted on a blog I read: The Animal Rescue Site.

Y'all, it only takes one little click each day on the purple button to help fund food and care for rescued animals. It's legitimate. It's the right thing to do.

It's free.

You may save a life.

Put this in your favorites list and CLICK IT EVERY DAY!

Please.

What am I, a flea market?

Got a phone call the other day from Wanda, owner of Divine Connection in Black Mountain, NC where some of my art is on display for sale. Seems that some guy had an interest in buying Path of Least Resistance. All well and good, making a sale even though I sort of hate to part with that particular painting. What put a huge damper on the excitement of selling the work was the fact Wanda was calling not to tell me it sold, but that the potential buyer wanted to know what was the least amount I would take for it!

It pissed me off.

The price is posted with the painting. And the store owner gets a whopping 30% commission outta' that price, too.

I started to tell her just that, "The price is posted."

Then I caved.

Yes, I am ashamed of myself. But I didn't cave much. Only knocked off $150 bucks. Screw the guy. If he wants it, he'll buy it. While I would like to make the sale, it doesn't matter. Not if I have to resort to "sale pricing" my work. Trust me, caving in left such a bitter taste in my mouth that I won't be doing it again.

'Cause folks, creating art is work. This is how I earn my living. It's my job. My profession. I'm not running a Carol's Bargin Barn business. I spend days, weeks and sometimes months on a painting. I've spent countless hours teaching and training myself to do what I do with a paintbrush. And I believe I put fair prices on the paintings. Simple as that.

Okay, maybe art doesn't rank up there with most people's necessities for life like running water and electricity ... but come on, you'd pay your plumber whatever he writes on the bill. You pay your mechanic what he charges to fix your car. You'll pay what the store in the mall charges for that pair of jeans or shoes without blinking an eye if you think you've just gotta' have 'em.

Why do people think art is any less valuable? You'll have that painting long after you've traded that car or those jeans wear out.

But history shows us many artist suffered the same problem. At the time they created their work the public almost dismissed them. Then, after the artist died, suddenly their paintings are worth hundreds, thousands, even millions of dollars. Will people only think my work worth paying for when I die? Not a pleasant thought. I wouldn't be here to enjoy those millions of bucks. Truth is, I don't even charge what a lot of other artist charge for their work. I've even seen some artist's prints sell for thousands of dollars. A PRINT! Yeah, those artists may be more well known, but some aren't. Some aren't any different than me.

Oh well. Wanda hasn't called back, so I guess that guy is a No Sale. Move along.

_________________

I spent the past few days here at the computer - Fun With Photoshop - working on the changes for the new website. It's coming along slowly, but I'm really liking it. Still hope to be able to publish it by the end of the month. So much yet to do. Lots of art to scan into the computer. New galleries to create. Links, meta tags, slices, buttons, all that jazz. I can't let myself think too much about it or I get kinda' freaked. I take it hour by hour, step by step.

The husband has finally gone back to work with no potential lengthy holidays in the forecast. Whew! Ended up that he didn't work on Monday as I thought he would. I knew he would have Tuesday off, holiday and all, but I didn't expect him to be lounging around the house on a four-day weekend. Gah! It just throws me off kilter to have him home for so much time. On the upside, he was pretty helpful with the website design. After I worked on a page I'd call him out of his studio to come look it over. He made a number of good suggestions, being able to view it as the 'average' person would if they visited my website.

Being on the computer for several days has put me slightly behind on the 'secret art project'. Late Thursday afternoon I started on two new works which I think will be pretty darn cool. All I can tell you about them at the moment is they are in the Art Nouveau style of Mucha. Lord! I love me some Mucha! To me, his work is beautiful and I could stare at it all day. I would love to have one of those huge coffee table books with plates of his illustrations, etc. I guarantee I would wear it out looking at it.

I actually did that once. When I was a kid we had a big book of Salvador Dali paintings. I looked at that book until the pages were literally falling out of the spine. Dali rocks! I keep telling myself that one of these days I'm going to attempt my own version of a Dali-ish surrealistic painting.

For now, it's time to get myself all bundled up and venture into town to take care of some errands. It's *effin'* cold out there. 23.4° by the temperature gage in the window. Geez Louise! That's just too damn cold. As if that weren't bad enough, the wind is blowing. I don't know what the wind chill factor is, but I'm certain is simply ridiculous. Burrrrrr!

Maybe I should just stay home and find my own snuggle spot like Creepy has ........

Namaste y'all ...