Odd things happen to me. Some nice, some not so nice. And then there are the just plain odd. Saturday's thing falls somewhere between the nice and plain odd. It's just the way my life goes. I'm kind of used to it.
Here's the story. The vacationing husband is kicked back on the sofa watching a movie. I'm in the kitchen fixing Manicotti for dinner. Phone rings. I answer.
Male voice says, "Is this Carol?"
"Uh, yes, it is." I reply.
"Used to be Carol Snedeker?" as yet unidentified male voice asks.
Now I'm feeling a little hesitant, but curious. Who is this? Where's this going? I say, "Well, yes. Who are you?" Only fair he identify himself.
"Graylin." he says.
Okay. I'm certainly surprised by that. I know only one Graylin. I ask for clarification. "As in Martin?"
He laughs, sounding sort of uncomfortable. "Yeah."
We're both silent for a moment. Like we both need to let this sink in.
Graylin Martin was my high school sweetheart. Almost three years together. I worked hard to get him and in the end couldn't get rid of him fast enough. Long story, complicated and I won't go into details. Not a great ending, I might add. I confess, I still harbor some resentments.
"What do you want?" I ask as politely as I can. Lots of ideas running through my head. Is this a joke? How did he get my phone number? Has someone died? Is he insane and stopped taking his medication?
Pause. "Uh, are you still married?" he questions.
"I am." I reply. "Why?"
Another laugh. Another pause. "Well, I was hoping you weren't and I was going to ask you out."
What the Hell???
I almost dropped the phone. Could have knocked me over with the proverbial feather. This guy is married, too, to the girl he dated before me - and had an affair with while he and I were dating. It was my turn to laugh. "Now that is certainly not something I expected, from you no less. Why in the world did you call me for that?"
Amazingly, what followed as about a 30+/- minute conversation. He told me he and his wife, Vickie, had separated around eight months ago. Apparently he, though he didn't elaborate on the details, screwed up somehow and she said, "Had enough and I'm outta' here." He's now feeling the need to look for someone to start dating. Companionship and all that.
He thought of me.
Go figure.
He took a big chance when he dialed my number.
Suddenly, I didn't feel angry with him anymore. After all these years. It wasn't that I was flattered he had thought of me, I really wasn't. Truthfully, I was kinda' weirded out by that part. But I felt sorry for him. Here is this guy, at the holidays, alone and lonely. His 20+ year marriage is kaput. His children are taking his wife's side and not having much to do with him. He doesn't have any friends because he's focused all these years on just his family. And he's lonely enough to take a big flying leap into the abyss of the unknown and call me. Brave. And really pitiful.
Of course, even if I weren't married, it is not within the realm of possibilities on this plain of existence or any other that I would have agreed to go out with him. Not going down that path again. Oh no. There's a definite unpleasant history with this guy. I might forgive, but I don't forget. Yet I can't bring myself to be cruel or unkind to him. I simply can't summon up the old hostilities enough to do that. I would at least talk to him on the phone. I would be nice. Empathetic and understanding of another person's pain.
So, the conversation ended on a easy and relaxed tone. I think we were both still rather surprised to even be talking to each other after all these years. Just the same, I'm pretty sure I won't be hearing from him again. At least I gained a little peace with that part of my past. A lesson in compassion. That's always a good thing. An odd occurrence to be sure, but nice gift to me, for me at the holidays.
Namaste y'all ...
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