Four short days until the husband is home for vacation. Thirteen days off. Two days back at work and then five more days at home. I'm not sure one of us will survive, though which one is still undecided at this point.
Don't get me wrong. I love my husband and all that. It's just I have a hard time being with someone, anyone, for a lengthy stretch of time. I'm used to being alone all week, the husband coming home late Friday night and gone at the crack of dawn on Monday morning. Sure, he calls and we talk every evening. I get phone calls from friends. I even go out into town a couple of times during the week. But, for the most part, I'm alone. I like it that way. I'm a solitary kinda' person. Introverted. My main interests and pursuits don't require interaction with others. So being around someone 24-7, even the husband, gets on my nerves.
Thus, thinking about the impending vacation time is causing me some stress. I'm hoping he will go out, at least a couple of days, with our neighbor-friend Phil and help him work on the plane Phil is building. Maybe have nice enough weather to do yard work or clean the vehicles. Maybe spend lots of time in his studio working on his keyboard. Anything to give me "space" and time alone.
Why don't I go out somewhere on my own? Good question. Thing is, I've got projects in my studio to be working on. And too, even though it may sound completely crazy, I don't like to leave the husband home alone ... and he really hates to be home alone. The way I see it is like this; he works all week, driving a truck and being away from home - the one place he wants most to be - so that I can be a stay home wife and artist. I have to say I think it's a small sacrifice on my part to be here with him when he is home. Tit for tat. Quid Pro Quo. Whenever I leave him home alone, especially since I get so much time to myself during the week, I feel guilty.
Sure, he can find stuff to occupy himself. It's not that. It's the fact that I'm absent. My presence isn't in the house. And it's being near me, even if not in the same room, that makes him happy. He likes knowing I'm close by. I can understand. I don't begrudge him that. So it's a rare thing for me to go out when he's home. Yeah, sometimes it makes me nuts, especially during times like the upcoming vacation ... but that's the art of compromise. Ya' what ya' gotta' do.
I have to come up with a plan for surviving the vacation. For not chopping up the husband into little pieces and burying him in the compost pile.
There's the studio/project work. Of course, almost anytime I walk into the studio and pick up a paintbrush he's looking over my shoulder, watching. Like a fly to honey. He likes to watch me paint, watch the work evolve. Nothing abnormal about that. Everybody loves to watch someone paint or draw - like it's a magic show. Shoot, I could watch someone else paint for hours. Guess that might not be much "alone time".
I've got the website redesign. Not much to hold his attention with me making new buttons and resizing images on the computer. Doing the "grunt work". Although, come to think of it, he does love to watch me work in Photoshop. He's a basic computer user. He can check his e-mail. He can surf the internet. He can meander through ebay. Photoshop is way past his computing abilities, and therefore, when I'm in design mode it's interesting to him, somewhat like watching me paint. He once said watching me work in Photoshop was kind of like actually getting to watch how my brain works. Weird comparison, but okay. Website design might not generate much "alone time" either.
I could start on the quilt I'm planning for my bedroom. Washing, drying and ironing fabric, cutting it into strips and squares, stitching them together ... yep, that would be not so interesting to him. Thing is, I don't have all the different fabrics I want collected yet. Darn.
Knitting. He does like to watch me knit, but he will lose interest after a bit. I have several things I would like to start knitting. I even have a scarf on the sticks right now that I've frogged and restarted, oh about twelve times already. It's Bernat Bamboo Natural Blends in Water, a wonderful pale blue yarn that is too soft and lovely for words. I could eat this stuff it's so nice. I want a scarf and matching hat - the whole Pumpkin Hat thing got me feeling brave - but I've had trouble deciding on the stitch to use. All I know is I would like it to be in a rib stitch, but I haven't got the right knit/purl ratio figured out yet. Might could spend time working on that.
House cleaning. Good old fashioned kind of spring cleaning. Might send him to his studio for hours on end with that going on. I'd get a nice, clean house to boot. Possible.
I guess we'll just have to see how it goes and what else I can come up with.
For now, I'm going to go watch a movie and not think about it.
Namaste y'all ...
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