The new Reiki space is ready, almost. We're just waiting on the different vendors to bring in their products for the store area. Oh, the waiting! Anticipation. It's rough. Two of our main vendors have been sick and have gotten behind with their work. That, of course, put us behind in getting the doors open. We had hoped to be able to open at the first of April. Now it will be next week or there'bouts'. Yeah, a bit of a frustration but it's okay. I know that those doors shouldn't be open until "it's ready". You never get a second chance to make a first impression. We're a different enough type of business in this community that we need to make a really good first impression to be successful. And I believe we will. It's going to be great.
I'm excited about it. I can't help myself. I really can't. What surprises me about that is how I've always been a solitary kind of person. Introvert. Hermit. Didn't like being around people too much. Especially people I didn't know. Lordly! but that made me so uncomfortable and jittery. While I still get a bit anxious around a group of new people, the general uncomfortable part is pretty much gone. What changed? Well, me, of course. I've learned a lot. I've come to understand why it made me so uptight. All my psychic antennae got overloaded and I didn't know how to "get my bubble on." Way too much sensory input and no filtering system to regulate it. Not fun, I can tell you.
I also never thought of myself as a very compassionate person. It's funny now to understand that being an empath actually means I'm compassionate to the point of feeling what another person (or animal) is feeling. Mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically. I always thought it was just me. I didn't understand I was picking up and experiencing what everyone else was feeling half of the time. I could feel incredibly sad, happy, or sometimes angry ... for no apparent reason. I stayed as tense as a piano string all the time. It was like an emotional roller coaster and I didn't know I'd paid for the ticket to ride. Unfortunately, I still sometimes pick stuff up when I'm not paying attention or I'm feeling a bit run down. When that happens, I have to find a place to get quiet and let it go.
But the upside to being this weirdo empathic-intuitive-psychic-medium person is that I can now use those skills to help people. That is another thing I've never felt comfortable with. Helping felt like giving too much of myself away - and I didn't have enough of me at the time to spare any for anyone else. Helping felt more like being taken advantage of. Just the same, it always seemed as if I was Dear Abby without the newspaper column. (or the money!) People came to me with their problems. They talked and I listened. More often than not I gave them some kind of useful advice, or at the very least, a different perspective to look at their problems from.
It took years to figure out why, given my introverted nature, that people seemed attracted to me without my encouraging it. As a matter of fact, I had been told more than once I intimidated people, I seemed very self-confident and highly independent, or that I even sometimes seemed remote and cold-hearted. No surprise there. I did have an ability to remain detached, to simply walk away from most people without a second thought. I didn't allow myself to get attached to many people. I had really big, thick walls around my heart. What I came to realize was it was the Divine's way of repeatedly knocking at my door. It kept pushing at me the very thing I kept trying to push away. Connecting to people.
I've always been psychic and intensely empathic. As a child I didn't understand what it was or why I felt so different from everyone around me. My family treated it as excessive imagination or as a kind of joke. There was no encouragement. No help. No anything to guide me or nurture the skills. I felt like an oddity. Many times I wondered if I was just crazy. That's tough for a kid, thinking your nuts and no one would tell you you weren't. Then the teenage years came and I was just too busy trying to survive. Instead of being better able to navigate my life through the use of these skills, I floundered. I shut off that part of myself and spent the next years just trying to get from day to day without ending up dead or in a psycho ward somewhere. My inclination for isolation really kicked into high gear in those years. And a constant state of depression hung on me like a wet wool blanket. The thought that I would some day be an "instrument of healing" never crossed my mind. Had someone told me I would have said they were the one who was nuts.
But, y'all, life has a funny way of taking you in directions and places you never dreamed you'd go. The Divine Plan charts your course and you're boat's going in that direction one way or another ... I don't care how many anchors you through over the side. Even after I started re-opening to my skills again, growing on my own personal healing journey, I still never thought I would be in the place I am now. I never thought I would be a Reiki practitioner. I never thought I would openly say to people I'm psychic, that I'm a medium, that I'd read tarot cards. I never thought I'd own a store - much less a store for healing and psychic stuff.
Yet here I am, on the cusp of opening the doors to a "wellness center" on the Main St. of my town. Surprising. Amazing. It's pretty darn cool, too. Not only will I be doing Reiki sessions for clients, but I also have a special reading area for doing intuitive tarot and psychic readings as well. I'm feeling so positive about the place and what it will grow into and become. I'm feeling confident about myself and my skills in a way I never have before. I look forward to the new people I will meet and look forward to helping them begin their own journey towards healing. I feel like I'm a part of something bigger then just this store space. And, I like it. I'm glad of it. I'm thankful for it.
Namaste y'all ...
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