Rainy days are meant for snoozing ...

Take a good look at this photo. It's exactly what I wish I were doing right now. It's Saturday morning, it's raining, I'm chilled, I'm sleepy, I'm at work. *sigh*

I've been thinking about my lack of blogging. I miss sitting down and "talking", telling about what's going on. I've blamed it on my crazy schedule. Never seems to be enough time to sit and write about current events and/or what's on my mind. I realized that isn't entirely true.

Some time ago I found out a few people I know read my blog. While having readers IS the intent behind any blog, it still sort of wigged me out. I got paranoid about what to say - or not to say. My blogging cramped. Something like 'performance anxiety' kicked in. I know it sounds bizarre, and well, a little foolish. I can't even really explain it. It simply is what it is. I just have to get over it. I miss blogging.

My most exciting news is that Open Hands Reiki Natural Healing is now, officially, a non-profit organization. Yee-Haw! We're going to be applying for grants, etc. to help us financially move forward with doing things we want to do. Things like working with veterans, the elderly, Hospice, and others. While having anyone walk in off the street for a Reiki session is always nice, I know there are so many people out there who could truly benefit from it and are unable to pay (even though we are 40% less on our prices than anyone else around) because of the fact that insurance companies have yet to list it as a payable alternative therapy. (That day will come!)

Honestly, it breaks my heart to tell some sweet little old woman with a host of problems, "Sorry but no, we don't accept Medicaid or Medicare." I know what Reiki would do for her yet there isn't really anything I can do to help. Open Hands still a business with expenses and unfortunately, we can't give sessions away for free. We offer a senior citizen discount and hold a Reiki Night the third Wednesday of every month where the general public can come in and get free 10-15 minutes sessions to 'check it out', but that's about the best we can do. Hopefully, with an influx of grant money, our ability to help those with financial limitations will be vastly improved.

Artwork-wise, my paint brushes are still on hold and dry as a bone. I can't seem to get my mind in the right space to paint. As usual, I have all kinds of ideas floating around in my brain. Getting them from mental canvas to physical canvas simply isn't happening. I'm torn between repainting Orange Kimono in a different style, re-working the current Work-In-Progress for the bazillionth time, or just mucking around with an abstract for snorts and giggles. It's frustrating. I wish I could just shut myself away in my studio for a couple of months, but that isn't likely to happen. I've got to figure out a happy medium soon.

Knitting is going a little better. I've got several things in-progress. One of them is this cute little project ...


Acorn ornaments! Aren't they adorable!?! I found the pattern on Ravelry.com from Carmen Rigby. They are really easy and quick to make, which is giving me some of the 'instant gratification' I've been needing lately for completing projects. I think I'm going to knit some plain, but with others I may add little feathers to the top and eyes on the nut part ... little acorn elves! I've also got a 2x2 rib, tri-color scarf and a cardigan sweater on the sticks. Oh!, and funny little bookworm and mousie bookmarks as well. Don't have photos of those to show right now.

Unfortunately, that about it for today. Duty of working is calling and I'd best go be productive.

Namaste, y'all ...

When you need a bit of happy in your day ...

Courtesy of CuteOverload.com

It's been rough day today. Just looking at this face makes me feel better.

Namaste, y'all ...

Making a dent.

For the most part the housework is done. Done for now anyway. The ceiling fans and lamp shades will just have to wait 'til another day, or five. The studio, however, gets my attention again later this evening. I made the mistake of venturing in there this afternoon and had an attack of the neat freak issues. This was not good considering there is a month of Sundays' worth of cleaning and straightening to do in there. It's appalling. It's housed stacks of magazines and whatnot over the past few months. Whatever I couldn't stand looking at stacked up in the other rooms of the house got shuffled back to the void of the studio, piled on the drafting table, piled on the light table, piled on the floor ... you get the picture.

For some inexplicable reason the urge to start weeding through the piles overtook me around lunchtime. Maybe it's a subconscious nudge to make me get back to some painting. Maybe it's the realization that unless there is room to work no work will get done. Maybe it was an avoidance tactic. I'm inclined, I shamefully admit, to avoiding doing some of my To Do list for the past couple of days. I just needed time off. Down time. Non-work related. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my store, my part of running the business and all that goes with it. I love being there even if nothing is going on and no customers or clients are there. It's a nice place and I'm proud of it. But it is true owning a business is virtually a 24-7 kind of job. Sometimes you just have to say 'when' and take a breather.

Not that spending most of the time breathing has been devoted to housekeeping, as I've done for the past couple of days, could technically be called an official breather. Work is work no matter what form it takes. Although, housework, while physical, can be a meditation if you let it. A "wax on, wax off" with the polish kind of thing. The physicality of it is good for you, too. It feels productive and there is the instant gratification of a nice clean glass-topped coffee table with just a swipe of a lint free rag and some custom-made vinegar cleaner. Yep, I make my own cleaning solution = White vinegar, hot water and some essential oils. This, too, gives the instant gratification of making the house smell fresh and clean even with the heat pump running and the windows closed against the winter weather outside. I love fresh air, having the windows open, and the house smelling clean helps a lot through the cold weather months.

I can't say I've made much of a dent on the To Do list, but a dent in my level of frustration and aggravation was achieved. I feel more relaxed and less overwhelmed by so many things needing to be done ... and feeling so overwhelmed that I didn't feel like I was getting anything done. That's a miserable place to be.

For the next hour or so I'll work on those piles in the studio. I don't see much getting done past that for the next several days. Maybe this coming weekend will grant me some more time to be the Domestic Goddess of Clean. I'd like to get in an hour on the sweater knitting if possible this evening, too. Then, it's off to bed. Tomorrow is another day for attacking the To Do list.

I'll leave you with a perfect picture of Zen ...



Namaste, y'all ...

I've tried and tried but I just can't get the house to do it's own housework.

My lack of blogging is not due to an excessive amount of housecleaning. Quite the contrary. The house has been relatively ignored for over a month. Oh sure, I've kept the dishes clean, the laundry done (if not all folded and put away), swept the kitchen floor, made a quick swipe of the toilet bowl with a brush ... just enough to get by but not pass any Happy Housekeeper inspection. My time has been spent wrapped knee deep in bookkeeping for the store, computer work, and other stuff. (Yeah, okay, all right - knitting - I confess!) The housework slid waaaaay down on the list of priorities.

I can only take dust and clutter and an un-vacuumed carpet for just so long before a combination of guilt and previously habitual neat-freak tendencies crawl up my spine and have me wigging out in a not so pleasant way. One more day of looking into a toothpaste bespecked bathroom mirror would simply send me, walling and shrieking like a banshee, over the edge. So, today, I cleaned. All day. Cleaned. And cleaned some more. Not pleasant, but it made the house cleaner and made me feel better. I really do hate an untidy house.

I decided to temporarily ignore the three dozen other things on my To Do list. I'm not a very good multi-tasker. Granted, I didn't get every cobweb out of every corner and scrub the tile grout with a toothbrush. No, I didn't get that deep into my Domestic Goddess duties. Even a Goddess has to draw the line somewhere when she's faced with the mountainous tasks of housekeeping left undone for far too long. There's always another day, sometime in the future, to wash windows and dust the pictures on the walls. Besides me, the husband and the cat, not many people see the inside of my house and one or two dust bunnies under the bed won't bring down 200 years of karmic bad debt. At least, I don't think so.

The frenzy of house cleaning did play havock with the sanity of my cat though. Reasoning out why I would polish the glass on his coffee table or vacuuming up his fur off the carpet was beyond him. Tuck, like most cats, isn't a fan of the vacuum cleaner. Poor fella' spent most of the day, wild eyed, behind the sofa. Can't say I blame him. I would have much preferred hiding back there, too, instead of polishing the coffee table. But now it's time to take a break and get back to the serious things in life ... like knitting.

Oh yes, knitting. I'm wallowing in knitting. I am making another sweater. Lovely heathered-brown cardigan. Caron Eco-Simply Soft yarn in the color Twig. Knitting Pure & Simple Pattern 994 Neck-down V-neck Caridgan. This is the "big" project. Suffice it to say it will take me awhile to finish. Will be worth it.


The other things are small, relatively quick to finish (I am a slow knitter) so that I get a little completion gratification in the face of knitting a sweater. The exception is a scarf I'm working on with the same yarn as the sweater, only it's a 2x rib with three color changes; Twig, Charcoal, Black. No photos of it just yet. The other things I've finished are ...

Lovely bubble-colored fluffy scarf of Lion Brand Homespun boucle' and matching eyelash yarn. Extra long fringe just because I could! This is so pretty and warm, too. How can you beat that?


Scarf and hat with Lion Homespun boucle' and novelty eyelash yarn. This Homespun is a pretty colorway of soft dark beige to various shade of browns. Has a few twists of a spicey rush color as well. The eyelash is a chocolate color with a threading of sparkle to it. Nice long fringe on the scarf.


Scarf with Red Heart baby yarn and eyelash yarn. Had this stuff for a couple of years now and couldn't decide what to do with it. I like pink, so a pink scarf worked for me. Didn't get too wild with the fringe.


Chenille and novelty ribbon yarn. The soft but bright and happy butter yellow worked well with the rainbow colored ribbon. I decided I didn't want it as a traditional square-ended scarf so I decreased the ends into points and tied on a little fringe for fun.


Boucle' scarf with color 'tufts' woven in the yarn. I bought a single skein of this a couple of years ago because I thought it looked fun and quirky. I made it a simple scarf to play up the interest of the yarn.


Tarot Bag(s) with Lion Brand colorway acrylic yarn. I found this pattern via Ravelry from NicolaKnits. After I sent her questions on how she knit it Nicola was kind enough to post the instructions on her blog. They have an interesting star shaped decreasing on the bottom. Made one to size, then made another slightly fuller but shorter just to see if I could. I was thinking about making some of these up - with some alterations to the pattern - to sell in the store. They would make good Tarot bags, medicine bags, crystal bags or whatever. If I can get faster on the knitting part it might indeed be something I do. They are worked on DPNs and I'm as slow as a sloth with DPNs.


There is another Tarot bag in the works but it's a different shape altogether. Again, no photos of it at the moment. It's more of the Lion Brand colorway acrylic in different colors than the ones above. I'm thinking I may do a cotton lining for it. Haven't decided.

So that's what going on here. Store and business stuff. Domestic Goddess stuff. And knitting stuff. The studio and painting are at a complete standstill save the ideas in my head. Hopefully it won't be long before things happen in that area as well. While I certainly enjoy the knitting I do miss having a brush in my hand.

Namaste, y'all ...

Good things in tough times.

Earlier this evening I had my nightly phone call with the husband. It was upsetting because I had to tell him the computer system he's been contemplating buying to go with his Korg keyboard, financially speaking, isn't an option right now ... nor in the foreseeable future. I had to explain the nasty and ever increasing costs of living over the past months vs. his lower income since having to change jobs earlier in the year. But, we are like thousands of others trying to make ends meet on a tighter and tighter budget. It's depressing as Hell. It made me feel miserable to burst his bubble on the computer. It felt even worse to explain why. Yet, there isn't much to be done about it. Life is what life is for all of us at present and we do the best we can.

But even sitting here feeling sad, upset and wanting to do nothing but sit in the middle of the floor and have a good cry, I had to stop and think about how there's still an incredible amount of abundance in my life. It lead me to think about something in particular that has happened recently that I have neglected to share. Sorry about that, but I've been sort of keeping it close to explore the feelings privately for awhile. This seems like an good time to talk about it.

Back in September I posted about a woman I referred to as "Anne". In that post I told you about dealing with the issue of my belief that Anne did not like me. As things ironically go, a short time later I posted the surprising bit of news that Anne was interested in reconciling the situation between us. I yammered on about my reaction and feelings and all that fluffy stuff. I left it hanging with no conclusion as to whether or not Anne ever came to talk with me. Well, she did and I'm damned happy about it.

While I won't deny we are both still stepping a little lightly and being cautious, I think it's not unrealistic given our history. Neither one wants to go backward into any of that again, or step forward wrongly with each other. It's quite natural that we take time and build the friendship, just as any two people trying to get to know each other would do. But personally speaking, I'd say she's become a welcome addition to my list of friends. It's nice. I'm glad things are as they are between us now. I look forward to the discussions we'll have (she's smart and funny), things we might do together (she's creative and crafty), things we'll learn from each other (things as ordinary as cooking tips to big stuff like life lessons), etc. as friends do with time.

The whole experience has already been such a lesson for me for a lot of reasons. It's a lesson in being willing to resolve things I find to be unpleasant and would prefer to just walk away from. It's humbling to be given a second change at friendship. It's been an opportunity to express thankfulness and appreciation to someone I thought I'd never be speaking to again. It's been a lesson in opening myself up, to understanding forgiveness, and being understanding of the feelings of others in a way I really hadn't been able to do before.

And it set me up to puting some of these lessons into action with another person I know with whom I've recently had a misunderstanding/miscommunication/conflict ... for which I'm largely responsible. I took something she said, read an incorrect meaning into it, and slammed her for it. It was wrong, but at the time, I really did feel her comment was snipey and hurtful. As is in my nature to do, I lashed back. (There is indeed real and fitting truth behind the decriptions of the traits of our astrological signs and I am a Scorpio.) She, of course, responded in kind.

The me of not so long ago would have just said 'F' it and walked away. Written it off and moved on. But this time it all just didn't sit well. I chewed on it for a bit and then discussed it with a friend whom I have the deepest respect for. I value his opinion and trust his advice. He pointed out things about myself I hadn't really been aware of, helped me re-evaluate and look at it from the other side of the fence. That evening I apologized to the person I had created the conflict with and have made arrangements to meet with her to discuss it one-on-one so that she may say anything to me she would like to say further about it. I plan to extend my apology again and, hopefully, put it behind me as a lesson learned. Maybe it will be resolved and it won't, but this time I couldn't let the conflict linger for years. I couldn't turn my back and attempt to wish it into oblivion. This time I am making the effort to confront and resolve it with good intentions and sincere apologies for my part in it. I'll let the Divine take it from there.

And I think that's a good thing even if it's hard to do. I think, even while the realities of everyday life are hard and troublesome and I want to sit and cry, it's a good thing to still count the blessings I have. I have the gift of a new friendship. I'm really trying to move forward positively in dealing with a negative aspect of my personality - a personal growth thing. I have a friend I call talk to about all of it and know I'm heard, never judged, and cared for enough to be told the truth - even if it stings. Even though I've got problems and trying times at present I'm still wallowing in abundance when I open my eyes and see it. And that's most certainly a good thing.

Namaste, y'all ...